Validation. Your Problem or Mine

How many times have you felt the need to validate yourself and/or your condition this week? Or even this month?  How many times have you found yourself explaining your health to someone who probably has no reason to know what’s really going on? Or found yourself explaining why you can or can’t do something or go somewhere? Now let me ask another question..... Why do you feel like you have to validate yourself and your condition?

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Chronic Pain: What They Want You To Know

🔹The NIH reports that 25.3 Million American adults suffer from daily pain. 🔹The NIH reports that 25.4 Million American Adults category 3 Pain (on a 1-4 scale).

🔹The NIH reports 14.4 Million American Adults category 4 Pain (on a 1-4 scale).

Chronic Pain is defined as an ongoing or recurrent pain, lasting beyond the usual course of an acute injury or illness or more than 3-6 months and which adversely affects the individual's well being.

🔹American adults with category 3-4 pain were more likely to

  • Have worse health status
  • Use more health care
  • Suffer from more disability

If the above statistics weren't enough maybe the ones below will open you eyes.

It is said by the NIH that nearly 100 MILLION Americans suffer from chronic pain, & 1.5+ BILLION people worldwide suffer from chronic pain. Also 1 in 10 Americans report that they experienced pain daily for three months or more.

I know someone reading this is going to be thinking "Why, do I want to read another story about another "addict"?" Well, to that person I ask that you keep reading! Not all who live with chronic pain are addicted to narcotics and jonesing for the next high. There are SO very many of us who are NOT very far from being addicted and spend a great deal of time trying to spread the word about the use of legal pain medications. No matter how we chose to deal with the pain, we still have to live with chronic pain each and every day. Day in and day out with pain THAT....NEVER.....GOES......AWAY..... Chronic pain is about so much more than pain meds. Honestly, it is about finding the best way for each of us to live life with chronic pain. Trying to find a way to just survive each and everyday. Trying to just get through each hour, each day, each week, each month.

Here's a couple questions that get asked a lot! Do some choose to use legal pain medications to treat their pain, or do some choose to stay away from pain medications? The answer is easy! Yes, to both. Some use strictly pain medications, while others use a mix of holistic options and pain medications, and others chose solely they holistic methods. It's a personal choice that only you can make for yourself. Are some getting medications illegally?? Yes! But you can't judge all 100 million of us who deal with chronic pain in The US for the one (or more) bad apple you've come in contact with. You have to think about this. Would you want to live a life always in pain? Always hurting? Having to take the pain into account when planning anything, even just a trip to the grocery store because you never know when the meds might wear off or when the pain might become so unbearable that you can't finish whatever task or outing you're on.

I wish people would remember that I am still me. I am not lazy. I when folks(family, friends, strangers) think I am a burden. I feel guilty every time I say no to someone due to my health. Take the time to understand before you judge-Conversation doesn't always have to be health related. Lastly, it is not a competition who hurts more or is sick in some way. Complete strangers want to one up me at the doctors office - not impressed. ~ Tammy, Canada

People in general don't understand pain. Pain is something you feel when you stub your toe, twist your ankle, jam your finger or even for a few short days after surgery. But in general when they think pain, they think acute pain. Until you've live chronic pain it's not something you can wrap you mind around fully. You just can't understand that it's not something that just goes away in a few minutes or a couple hours or even a couple days. It may never go away. Ever. It may be something that we have to wake up to every day for the rest of our life.

We're not looking for sympathy, but a little empathy would be very appreciated! ~ Amanda, Ohio

All we want from our families, friends and the public as a whole is a little empathy. We just want people around us to show that they care. That they have an interest in learning about what we are going through on a daily basis. It means the WORLD to us when people ask questions about what we are going through and what they can do to help. And it means even more when they ask how our pain is. I can't even explain to you how much it means when someone asks that 5 word question. "How is your pain today!?"

"Even when I look normal, I am still in pain. On my worst days for chronic pain, I wore the most makeup. I put on my mask to fake being well, not fake being sick. I can't take pain pills due to my stomach problems, so I just have to do less and rest when I am in pain. I can work hard for a few days. But then I pay for it with my sore joints and have mandatory rest for a few days" Megan ~ Georgia

There are a lot of days I spend in pain, but you would never know it. I wake up and put my "cape" on and go about my day. I have a husband and three little people who depend on me to be there for them. Honestly if it were not for them I would wallow in my misery. Not every day is good, but there is something good in every day. Kyndle ~ Missouri

Megan & Kyndle hit the nail on the head when they both speak about their daily pain levels. As well as when they speak about how they deal with it. Like many, instead of saying anything they put on their CIW (chronic illness warrior) cape and fake it till they make it. There was a study done in 2012 on the Lupus Community by the American News Report. During this study it became clear that there is a true gap in communication between those with Lupus (and most likely all chronic Illnesses) and their families. Their study found that 87% of lupus patients downplayed their symptoms and Need in order to not upset their family members. In many cases they don't want to share how they feeling so they don't have to deal with looks of pity from others. Or hear the "Oh you poor thing!" That's not genuine. But mostly people don't want to worry and stress their families. If they don't tell them how bad it really is then their family won't be able to worry as much. It's awful that a person can't be honest about how they are feeling and where their pain level-is at for fear of upsetting their friends and family. We (those with chronic diseases) should never have to or choose to hide our pain from anyone. But especially from those we are closest to us.

Keep in mind that of all the chronically ill patients that take pain medications only 5% become addicts. When hearing about the opioid crisis, sadly they have combined illegal and legal substances together. Most of the deaths that are occurring are those due to illegal substances. Chronic patients are being denied medications because of this serious problem. ~Amy, Michigan

The CDC just recently to release more accurate numbers than those that had been reported. In the 2018 Annual Surveillance Report of Drug Related Risks & Outcomes by The Centers for Disease Control they state that "14,487 out of a total of 325.7 MILLION people in US died from LEGAL PRESCRIPTION opioids." That's .000004% of the population. This is much less than the numbers we have been hearing as lately where the CDC has combined death by legal prescription meds & death by illegal illicit drugs. Is the updated number too many? Yes, honestly even one is too many. But it is not quite the problem that is it being made to seem it is. People have been using pain relieving products for YEARS, more than we can even begin to conceive I'm sure. Are the products available now a thousand (or more) times stronger than the stuff our Great-Grandparents used. No doubt! With evolution and change of society comes evolution and change in medicine. I think for most of us that is the way we would like it to be. Can you imagine dealing with all the conditions and injuries we have to deal with or potentially deal with now but only having access to the pain relieving methods that they used in 1800's?? No, it's not effective. Are there people who abuse narcotics? Absolutely! With just about anything you can find abuse of it in some way. With the evolution of cars comes the abuse of speed. With the evolution of technology comes cyber crimes. I digress, there always has been and always will be abuse of medication in some meaning of the word. I just wish everyone wouldn't assume that just because you have the medication prescribed to you that you are an addict.

I never knew pain, until Lupus knocked me down and I never knew strength until I got back up" ~Christall, Missouri

Chronic Pain SURVIVORS are just that!! Survivors, because we survive each and every day to live another day to tell our tale. Myself and many other United States Pain Foundation, WEGO, Chronic Disease Coalition Advocates, and many many more Advocates work so hard each and every month to share stories of chronic pain survivors and to show that not all those who take pain medications are doing so illegally or are addicted to them. Many of us take pain medications to get through the day but many have also made the choice to use other available methods. Really we just do what we have to do to get by! We want to spread the word this month especially as September is Pain Awareness Month that there are all KINDS of chronic pain conditions. Many that you and I might never even consider. So please if you get nothing else from today I hope you get this. If you meet someone somewhere and learn that they deal with daily chronic pain don't assume the worst. Don't just jump to the fact that they are an addict simply because they choose to use medication to treat their gain. Or that they are going to over dose because in most cases that's not the case. We are all just trying to survive another day with our chronic pain.

With Love,

Amber

Let Me Tell You How I Really Feel!!!

Disclaimer: These are my opinions and it's okay if yours don't agree! As I lay here feeling as tho I can feel every....single.... part of my body and it all hurts. I decided to look for some inspiration. Something to get me through this trial. I decided why not? None of my other tricks are working. Not even my Gold Standard Go-To's. Like sitting in a hot bath, I think I've used all the hot water in the house! Probably good that no one will need any for several hours yet. I can't sleep because even my hair hurts. I started looking for other ways to deal with the pain. Tried guided meditation which has helped some in the past. NOTHING! I started reading other blogs, reading inspirations pages, and I found some that fit. Then I decided maybe my pain could help someone else so I'll Blog. And it'll be a good way to pass a few minutes where I can focus on something other than the pain. And I'll

Place the inspirational things I found helpful throughout the post!

Chronic pain is all psychosomatic (all in your head) people have been told! First, I would like to know how many (if any) o have been told that?!?! Secondly , I would like to know what gives those "Doctors" the right to tell you the pain you are feeling isn't real? And lastly, I would like to know if they have ever spent a week, a day or even a few hours totally overcome by PHYSICAL pain. No, I'm not talking about spraining an ankle, or hitting your funny bone. While yes, those things hurt, that pain isn't going to last. You can see an end in sight! With chronic pain you look for that light at the end of the tunnel and see nothing. Nothing but BLACK. There is no light. Chronic pain is just that, pain that's chronic. Pain that you will live with at some level EVERYDAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!

If I had a nickel for the amount of times I've heard "Well, I just don't know how you do it! how you put up with all that pain!" I'd be a rich lady. My answer is always and forever will be, "It's my only option. I don't have another. I can't just say you know today I'm not gonna deal and wish the pain away." There are days I wish I could, like right now. In this moment I wish I could just say "I'm done with you for now pain and it would go away!" But I can't. And neither can all the other hundreds of thousands who deal with similar things. So for all of you who also deal day in and day out with chronic pain I applaud you! You are some of the most courageous people I know! And it's because of you that I know I can keep pushing through.

"Courage is not having the strength to go on; it is going on when you don’t have the strength.” – Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919), 26th President

The sad part to me is that most chronic pain sufferers & Lupus Patients suffers in silence.

They feel that it is a better option to suffer alone than to open up to a close friend or family member about what is going on. It's sad that we have to feel that way. But I know why it happens. Let me give you an example that maybe you can relate to. Have you ever been home from work on a sick day? Not welling enough to work but well enough that you can text or play on Social

Media? If you have been in this situation, did you receive any backhanded, dirty text, or comments about how much better you MUST be since you are up and on Social Media?!? Probably not. But the second you have a Chronic Illness or Chronic Pain and stay home and someone notices you on the Internet the rumors start rumbling about how you must not be THAT sick if you can be on Facebook. When it's quite the opposite. You still feel like a giant pile of horse manure, but Facebook is giving you a much needed distraction from what you are dealing with. And if you really wanna know, It's my business how I spend my time!! Not yours!!

Living with a Chronic Illness or Chronic pain sucks. That's just all there is to it. You usually end up losing out on opportunities in every aspect of your life, simply bc the pain is too much. No one should ever have to deal with pain to the point that they can barely physically move bc their entire body hurts. In this day in age there should be more medicines available to treat these horrible life altering disorders more directly. Those of you non-spoonies may be thinking, so go to the pain Doctor and get on some meds and move the heck on. Well, sadly it's not that easy. I am in the third largest city in my state and no pain dr will touch me bc I have Lupus and Fibromyalgia. They won't even see me in their office. So I, like many others across this fine country, are stuck without or get medication from a family doctor who is not trained in treating chronic pain.

In many cases we have those who are abusing the system and pain medications who have ruined the system the rest of us. Those of us who truly need treatment and medications should NOT be punished based on the poor decisions of another person. Okay I'll get off that soapbox.

But seriously if you've never lived a period in your life where pain took over don't be so quick to judge those who have. We who suffer would gladly give it all away to have a normal life again. We didn't ask for this, want this, and the largest majority of Lupus Patients did nothing to cause the situation that they are in. So please before you judge do a little investigating on your own. Don't assume that just because I look like a normal 32 yo female that you can yell or give me dirty looks for using a handicap tag. I have it for reasons that you may never know.

All we can do is keep fighting the good fight!! Keep doing all we can to advocate that we get good care and the meds we deserve. We deserve the chance to live a normal (or as close to it as possible) life just like everyone else does!

It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.”

– Confucius (551-479 BC),

Philosopher

With Love,

Amber