I Need A Break

Do you ever feel like you need a break? Like you have had enough!? You are done! You are waving the white flag, crying uncle?? I know I can't be alone. But lately it just seems like it's just one thing after another. My new saying that it seems like I say EVERY SINGLE DAY is "It's always something!" And I really feel like that's the case. I feel like every time I turn around I have another problem, another diagnosis, another doctor. I'm curious though. How do you deal when you get to this point?!? I don't usually share things like this, but I say I share everything so I should really share everything. But I just feel like I've fallen into such a rut. And am so down. I don't really seem to care about much. And I don't really know how to get out of this headspace. The things that normally make me happy aren't. Things I normally enjoy doing I don't want to do. I'm just so tired of my health declining. Literally like every month I think I get some new condition or diagnosis. And I don't know what to do to fix it.

I don't know what to do to get out of this negative headspace. Or to turn my health around. I know this time of year is always hard for me because I have always struggled during cold and flu season. As long as I can remember the cold months, October - March, have always been a struggle. I always catch everything. And now it's even worse due to the immunosuppressants that I take.

I'm so tired of being sick. So tired of being in pain. I'm honestly tired of being tired. But I can't change those things. I always make big plans to make these changes in my life that should help me feel better and I get a few weeks in and I get hit with another illness or condition that knocks me on my butt again.

I try so hard to be positive. And always look at the positive side of things. I try to look at my health and see what I can gain from the negative. Like the fact that I have the platform that I have and I can spread positivity and awareness. And I love that I can do that and I have the platform that I do. But right now I feel like a fake. How can I spread the positive ideas and thoughts when I am not feeling positive myself. I know this is only a season and it too shall pass. But I'm really over it. It's just so frustrating always being sick and always having to face something else. I know it won't last forever. But for now I am going to sulk.

With Love,

Amber